sorted thoughts

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut.
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel.

I was told to be myself.
I was reminded that I have drifted myself from my classmates..
I was told that I'm not who I used to be.
I was blamed to be following the crowd.
I was reprimanded to be selfish, snobbish and arrogant.
I was classified under the outcast list together with two.

this is how my classmates feel.
this is what I was been named.
this is what they feel toward me.

i have to be the one to always call
i have to be the one to serve
i have to be the one to apologise
i have to be the one to care for every worries they have.
i am always the one to be blamed
i am always the one to compromise
i am always the one to be blameworthiness

it's not always about you, you you, you and you.
if you really wants to think that way. i have got nothing to say.

but why doesn't anyone try standing in my shoes and think for me. have i ever: a) been cherished?
b)been treasured?
c)been appreciated?
i'm sad to say but rarely.
only times like:
d)when i'm needed
e)when i'm being asked to fulfill a favour.
f)when the crowd is down, i have to entertain peeps, lame i am, but effects are obvious.

I tried to help you once, against my own advice
I saw you going down, but you never realized
That you're drowning in the water, so I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature. Tonight is our last stand.

But I don't mind! As long as there's a bed beneath the stars that shine.
I'll be fine. If you give me a minute.
A man's got a limit I can't get a life if my heart's not in it.

i dont really care what people say to me.
i dont really care what people think about me.
i dont really care how shitty peeps treat me.
i dont need to be enslave to you, i dont own u a living.
but i do care is what i like to do best. to myself!
so just stop whining, brain-washing, and get a life.

thank you for reading.